BUMPER STICKER
THEOLOGY
I
learned very early on in Reverend Morehouse’s sermon writing class last year
that he actually expected me to write
a sermon! I tried to convince him I
didn’t have twenty minutes of anything valuable to say, and I could only fill
the time with one-liners at the risk of turning Sunday service into a standup
routine frighteningly similar to that of Roseanne Barr. John was insistent in his nauseatingly
encouraging way that a “one-liner” sermon would be GREAT! What?
“This can’t be happening”, I thought.
Clearly, my cover was at risk of being blown! I could no longer be the stay at home mom who attends every
committee meeting or RE class with the only goal being to rescue myself from my
own deteriorating intellect. I could no
longer linger in the back pew making stupid jokes in an attempt to appear like
I was participating.
Just
when I thought I would have an anxiety attack (and, by the way, I could recall
NOTHING from John’s Buddhist meditation series that was helping me here) it
actually occurred to me he might be right.
Maybe there was a sermon in
one-liners. Then, I got cocky. No problem, this will be easy. I just have to come up with twenty minutes
of spiritually enlightening stuff that threatens to keep everyone clutching
themselves to keep from wetting their pants!
No pressure there! So, in
typical fashion, when faced with pressure, I did what I always do, lay awake
nights resentfully obsessing about it for the entire first week of class
without actually DOING anything. (This
would explain my college transcripts.)
It was almost a week later before I
had the epiphany. Right here in the
church parking lot. It wasn’t exactly a
vision, rather an epiphany of laughter. I looked up to see a small but noticeable rectangle on Brenda
Davis’ rear end (well…her car’s rear end).
It said, “Eve was framed”. Of
course, I laughed. But then, I looked
around and saw all the others; Kerry stickers half picked off that looked like they
were tiredly holding a last beacon of hope, cheerfully convincing
rainbow-colored stickers that proclaimed we should “Celebrate Diversity” …like
there’s a chance that it could actually happen in Loudoun County…
Then it hit me! No, not Brenda’s car…the epiphany! (By the way, for the record, as far as you
know this hit me months ago…way before the article about this EXACT topic that
appeared in the Post a few Sunday’s ago.) Anyway, at that moment it occurred to
me that we have a bizarre human (or maybe cultural) fascination with wearing
our opinions and feelings on our sleeves…or our cars…or wherever else we can
fit them. In fact, we make a religion
out of sharing our passions, beliefs, and ideas with complete and total
strangers. O.K. I’m using the term
“sharing” lightly here, because, let’s be honest, that’s an
understatement. I mean, come on! Somehow I doubt that the first idea for that
“Darwin fish”, you all know the one I mean, that fish symbol you see on many
cars that has legs and says “Darwin” on it, I doubt it came about as a
compassionate effort to “share” beliefs about evolution. Of course, there was never any goal of
antagonizing the beholders of the original “sacred fish”. And what about the successor to “Darwin,
the fish”? You’ve seen the big “shark
of truth” eating the “Darwin fish!”
Very spiritual and enlightened, right?
So, what’s my point? Well, I have no idea…I mean I’m really just
filling the eight pages of text I’m told are required to make a complete
sermon. (And just so you know, I wrote
out the number eight just to take up more space) But, I’m quite sure if I were trying to suggest a point it would
have something to do with our responsibility as Unitarian Universalists to
speak out, advocate, and promote justice and peace while still respecting the inherent worth and dignity of every
one. Yeah, that’s the kicker isn’t
it? Where’s the line? Is it o.k. to directly “rebut” a bumper
sticker ala the “Darwin fish”? Is it
crossing the line to “poke fun” at someone’s values if in fact we swear that it
really was just “all in fun”? And, when
I say “crossing the line”, I’m not implying we don’t have a constitutional
right to speak our minds. I guess I’m
just not always entirely sure what the goal is.
When I went through my “fundamentalist
Christian phase” (not to be confused with my “recovering Catholic” period, or
my “I’m too smart to believe in anything” atheist phase or the ever-popular
“I’m just looking for a church for my kids” journey) it was so much easier to
know where to draw the line. Everything
was excused by “Oh who cares, I can just go to confession later”, or it was
measured by the standard of “supporting my walk with the Lord” or “witnessing
to others the message of eternal salvation through Jesus Christ”. I know, scary picture, huh? Well, that’s a sermon for a different
day. But, suffice it to say, I had a
t-shirt that said “In the event of nuclear attack, the ban on school prayer
will be lifted”. And, at the time, that
seemed o.k. to me because it was well within the bounds of “witnessing to
others” and it “promoted a personal relationship with the Lord by encouraging
prayer”. (And, of course, the irony of
the fact that I had just accepted a scholarship from the Air Force that was
dependent on my becoming a missile launch officer was too good to pass up! But, again, that’s a sermon for another
day.)
I had another t-shirt (remember: t-shirts are the next best thing to bumper
stickers to a college student who can’t afford a bumper). Anyway, this other t-shirt had a picture of
Bart Simpson that said “God’s last name is not Damnit’. This was particularly ironic since when you
get to know me you’ll learn I have a mouth like a truck driver. So, hypocrisy, o.k.….But, clear cut line
crossing …not ok! At that time, to me,
the line was clear…this was my mission.
It was why God put me here.
So, here I sit many years later. A
Unitarian Universalist. I know I
haven’t been one for very long. But, I
think I still get what it means (well, besides the obsession with coffee and
the painful committee work). The
problem is now I’m stuck with that nagging question about the line. It isn’t so clear cut, anymore. I understand we want to promote our
values. In fact, we’re told we need to
be able to sum them up between floors on an elevator, or on a small rectangle
on the back of our car. “Ours is a
faith that needs articulating”, we’re told.
Bottom line: we need our own one-liner.
(By the way, does anyone really know what it means to be the “uncommon
denomination”? If so, please see me
after the service). But, a
one-liner? Isn’t that risky? I mean, isn’t it possible that we’ll open
ourselves up to misinterpretation? If
one of our goals is to reach out and share our message of community, respect
for others, peace and justice, how do we articulate our views in JUST ONE LINE,
especially when we’d secretly rather defend ourselves against people we feel
have not respected our inherent worth
and dignity?
Having
a Kaine or Kilgore bumper sticker on the back of our cars is fairly clear. We are advocating for a particular
candidate. We may not build any great
bridges with the opposition, but it’s all in the interest of speaking our
personal truth in a way that is respectful of our country’s bipartisan
values. But, I’m not speaking
politically. What about
spiritually? Is it as simple as that
for us UU’s? If I were to consider the
one-liners in my life…or the ones on my bumper, would I find that I am living
my spiritual message?
O.K.
So, getting back to the fish (geez, give me a soapbox, and I’m all over
the place), my neighbor recently put a red fish that looked a lot like
something out of a Dr. Seuss book on my bumper. I asked him what it was for… he said he had no idea. But he thought it looked funny, so he decided
to stick me with it as a “surprise”. My
initial reaction was that I liked it.
But then I found myself staring at from every angle, obsessively trying
to find some hidden agenda. Was it a
symbol of some conspiracy by the Christian right to infiltrate the “fish”
unobtrusively through innocent unsuspecting heathens? Was the star on it some
Wiccan symbol that would get my car keyed in the public lots? The paranoia was endless. (I realize I’m revealing some of my obvious
neuroses here)
But,
I can’t help but wonder about a few other, perhaps more realistic,
scenarios. For instance, most of you
have seen that sticker as you drive down the road on the back of some big
pickup truck; the one that has that little boy with the striped t-shirt peeing
on something. Most times when I have
seen it, it’s on the back of a huge Chevy pickup, and the kid is peeing on a
Ford logo. (I know, charming isn’t it?)
Well, how would any of us feel if the “something” that was the target of his
urine stream was the flaming chalice symbol of our faith?
During the last presidential election,
I often felt physical discomfort here, in this place that has become a Mecca of
acceptance and community for me…my sanctuary.
But then, the tension here was palpable. Each of us, regardless of our political views, brought with us on
Sunday morning what can only be described as a weight or a burden...our
proverbial crosses to bear. Perhaps it
was fear of the future; perhaps it was anger at the actions or intentions of
others as very important issues for our country were “discussed”. Whatever the case, many of us were in a
state of dis-ease. I felt my own
personal discomfort because although I understood my own need, like many of
you, to be among and vent to like minded people during this stressful time, and
even though I was fortunate to share the viewpoint of the clear majority at
that time, I feared how uncomfortable it must be for those who were not
necessarily one of the like-minded...those who weren’t part of the “liberal
clique” which was assumed to include the entire congregation. I would literally feel my stomach drop as I
heard comments like “damn republicans” being thrown around at coffee hour while
some folks were probably silently standing by feeling alienated. And believe me, I was not exempt... (PAUSE).
This
brings me back to the not so simple question …what is our goal? What is our goal when we display the symbols
or beliefs of others in a way that makes fun of them? When the journalist of the Washington Post asked that question of
the raging fish battle, there were a variety of answers. I would argue that most often it is a
reaction to feeling disrespected ourselves, to feeling as though our beliefs
aren’t being taken seriously, or worse yet, being trampled by others. But, as Unitarian Universalists, are we
committed to action or reaction?
What
is our goal when we sum up all that we are in one-line for the entire world to
see without giving the onlookers the benefit of first making a personal
connection to us…to our personal story?
But, more importantly than the goal, what is the risk? I guess it’s a lot like the risk of
assigning a label of judgment to those “damn republicans” forgetting some are
in our own congregation, friends whom we cherish, that share our goal to make
the world a better place. Or maybe it’s a little like working on a church
committee and being so concerned with being heard…or being right….that we lose
sight of the common goals we all share. So,
if our vision as a congregation is really to be welcoming (with a lowercase w
or a capital w), if we truly covenant for love to be the spirit of our church,
and if, as individuals, it really is our personal spiritual goal to practice
what we preach come Monday morning by building bridges rather than tearing them
down, then do we really want to risk summing up all we are in a one-liner? If the answer to that question is “yes, it’s
worth the risk”, than I leave you with one final question. What will your bumper sticker say?
(Of course, just so you know, I’m not
waiting around for an answer because I’m close enough to my required 8 pages to
be finished, and after all, it’s all in fun anyway, right?