ALIENATION – Eleni Kelakos, August 15, 2004

 

Alienation is from the Latin “to be made into a stranger.”

Seeman, a sociologist, defined six aspects of alienation:

 

1.     Powerlessness—“Nothing I do makes a difference.”  “You can’t fight city hall.

2.     Normlessness— Being “good” just won’t cut it any more.”   “Nice guys finish last.”

3.     Meaninglessless: “I can’t make sense of it all anymore.”  “What’s it all about?”

4.     “Cultural  estrangement:  “My culture’s values aren’t mine.”  “What is success, anyway?”

5.     Self-estrangement:  “My work doesn’t mean much to me.”  “What I learn in school isn’t relevant.”

6.     Social isolation:  “I’m all alone.”  “No one ever visits me anymore.”

 

When I first returned to the United States, as a fifteen year-old girl, having lived my entire life as an American abroad, I came face-to-face with the ugly monster of Alienation.

 

I didn’t fit in, I didn’t belong.  I was a fish out of water.  I felt isolated and alone.  Mostly I felt hopeless, as if nothing I could do would make any sort of difference, would connect me with anyone or anything of meaning or substance… so what was the use of trying?

 

What did make me feel plugged in and alive and worthwhile, however, was singing, or listening to music. Which I did, endlessly in my basement.  My guitar, and my stereo were my ticket in—to my soul, to my feelings—and then my ticket out—to my community, my tribe, my friends.

 

“Music heals the soul and moves the spirit,” says Amy Tappe.  Well, ain’t that the truth.  When I listened to Janis Ian sing about feeling alienated and alone in “At Seventeen,” there, in the bowels of my basement in Canton, Massachusetts. I felt alive, seen  and understood.  Her words, and her music, reached out and into me.  Music, in fact, was what drew me out of my shell, our of my head, out of my isolation and  into the warm and wacky world of theatre in Junior High and High school.  Music was my saving grace.  It pulled me out of myself, and into the warm and loving of community of other like-minded kids who also felt alienated and alone, misunderstood and lonely.  Bound together by our love for music, and tangentially, for performing, we created community—a family, really.  United by a single cause—Get the play on its feet, opening night is around the corner!!!—we laughed and struggled together, discovering our commonalities and respecting our foibles, our uniqueness. 

 

I learned something powerful at that early age:  Even in the face of deep, dark feelings of alienation and isolation, if I could make the choice to take action and involve myself in something meaningful   and share it with loving people, that feeling of not belonging, of alienation, would lessen.

 

“People want lives wherein everyone is a friendly relative, and no act or object is without holiness.”  (When the reverse happens), “we feel like a fish out of water.”  Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. said those words.

 

Accepting myself for who I am, and then sharing myself, my heart, my abilities, with other people, I felt—and still feel-- more like a leaping, joyous Dolphin in a school of leaping joyous Dolphin than a fish out of water.

 

And so, when I watch my teenage stepsons slouch around, bored, living for the TV set, content with doing as little as possible, locked in the belief that “it’s all useless anyway, so why bother, what’s the point,” it breaks my heart.  I feel their sense of hopelessness like a shroud on my own heart.  What is it that makes many of our young kids feel so hopeless, so alienated?  Is it because our families have gotten so much smaller?  Or because we move around so much more?  Is it because friends and family are more disposable, coming and going and coming and going? Is it because they are often left alone, with little to do but to kick around and become as one with the TV set or other, more insidious addictions?

 

Whatever the reasons, many our children are kicking listlessly on the edge of hopelessness and alienation. It’s reflected, for example, in the abysmal voting turnout among our youth. How can we help them to understand that just by their mere presence they are worthy and important; and that their actions, their choices are vital and significant—that they they and “it,” whatever “it” is, does matter.  How can we convey to them what Dr. Martin Luther King  said so eloquently:  “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”  How can we help our children to care; to step out from the listless shadows and leap into vibrant connection with themselves, their fellow human beings, and the greater world around them?

 

I look back to my childhood, and those tumultuous teenage years, and I remember that it took magic to make me care, to make my passions kick, to muster my will to take action, to want to make a difference… the magic of music, the magic of theatre.   My hope is that each and every one of  our children, each and every one of us, at any age, can find and then fan into a roaring flame their particular  magic, the  fire that sets them in motion and makes them take action for themselves but, most especially, for others.  Because, as Albert Einstein said, “Only a life lived for others is worth living.”

 

I used the word WILL in that last paragraph.  WILL.  Our will is a powerful thing. In order to take on problems, rather than running away from them, it requires WILL.  In order to move from a place of isolation and alienatation, it requires WILL.

 

George C. Boeree says:

 

“Will is pulling aside present distress in order to reach future delight—or staying hopeful, even eager in the face of anxiety.  Or taking on problems with the intentions of solving them.”

 

So WILL is the key.  It takes will to make a choice and then take action on it.  It takes will to decide to stop settling for being on the fringe and to not only ask more of yourself but to ACT on that decision. 

 

Albert Einstein said, “I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious.” Passionately Curious!  Isn’t that a wonderful phrase?  Let’s encourage ourselves to be passionately curious—about ourselves, about each other.  If we can muster the WILL to become passionately curious, we will find ourselves moving together, working together, our hearts and souls engaged and on fire with life.  And those feelings of alienation won’t stand a chance.

 

As Lucy Larcom so beautiful suggested: “If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.”

 

And that’s why I’m here today, to warm to coldness of this world with the fire in my heart and soul, through my words and my music.

 

 

Quotes from the Common Bowl:

 

“We need to teach the next generation of Children from Day one that they are responsible for their lives.  Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that se have free choice.  We can make our choices built from love or from fear. “

 

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said that.  So, choose love.

 

 

"Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it."
- Mark Twain

 

 

“Democracy is not something you belive in or a place to hang your hat, but something you DO.  You participate.  If you stop doing it, democracy crumbles.”

 

-- Abby Hoffman

 

 

“There is a pervasive malady that strikes virtually all who have some form of mental illness….  Nothing feels worse than loneliness.  It eats away more voraciously than hunger, thirst, sexual desire or need to succeed.  Connecting with another human being who truly UNDERSTANDS us is so difficult when you are locked in a world of your own making: A virtual mental prison.  I suppose I use Kurt Cobain for an example because, although he had the adoration of millions of fans, a loving wife and a beautiful little girl, he felt alienated and set apart from a world he knew would never be his to claim. So he took that final step that so many desperately and lonely people do, when they feel NOBODY can reach them. “

–Jane Wanklin, 42 years old, recovering mental patient

 

 

“Less attention is given to the possibility that many members of the party of nonvoters are not irreversibly apathetic, cynical, ignorant, or self-indulgent. Many in fact may be making a political statement of their own -- that they fail to see in current policies, as presented by the media, any connection between their vote and their political interests.”

BY JAMES BOYLAN, founding editor of Columbia Journalism Review

 

 

 

“Among the major factors that distinguish voters from nonvoters, according to the survey: Nonvoters are less likely to grasp the impact of elections on issues that matter to them; Nonvoters are more likely to believe they lack information on which to base their voting decisions; Nonvoters are more likely to perceive the voting process as difficult and cumbersome; Nonvoters are less likely to be contacted by organizations encouraging them to vote.”                                              -League of Women Voters Survey, 1996

 

 

In every presidential election since 1960, the percentage of eligible voters who go to the polls has decreased (with two exceptions: 1984, when Reagan ran for re-election, and 1992, when Ross Perot energized the apathetic). The 1996 Clinton-Dole race was the first presidential election since 1924 (when women were first allowed to vote) where less than 50 percent of eligible voters cast ballots.

 

 

According to the Vanishing Voter Project, the 50 percent or so of the population that doesn't vote can be divided into three groups.

The chronically apathetic account for about half of nonvoters (roughly one-quarter of the voting population).

The 2nd block of people who don't vote are those alienated from the current political scene (roughly one-quarter of the nonvoting population). They have an interest in civic affairs and a sense of citizenship but are disgusted by political scandals and the growing role of money in elections.

The 3rd and fastest growing group of nonvoters is apolitical young people.  Patterson believes that young people have been disconnected from politics by changes in the media landscape.  “They are quite strongly oriented to the marketplace, instead of public arenas.”

 

“Asking a young person (aged 18-25) to vote raises the likelihood they will vote by 8-12 percentage points.  Personal contact is a more effective method of persuading a young person to vote than either direct mail or telephone calls, and is much cheaper. “    -“Getting out the Youth Vote” research paper

 

“A Jan 2000 survey from the Panetta Institute shows that college students have little interest in politics or political careers but nonetheless are remarkably civic-minded and public-spirited. The survey found that nearly three-fourths of college students say they have recently done volunteer work for an organization or cause they believe in. Students, the survey found, are significantly less cynical about politics and government than their elders. They simply tend to view politics as irrelevant to their lives and to the issues they care about.”

 

 

US Census Bureau Report:   Reasons given (by registered voters) for not voting, 1996 election:  1) no ride 4% 2) no time off/busy 21%, 3) out of town 12%, 4) illness/emergency 15%

 

 

US Census Bureau Report (2002):  People who are older, married or have at least a bachelor’s degree, and women were more likely to vote, according to the report. Among registered nonvoters in 2002, about 27 percent reported they did not vote because they were too busy or had conflicting work or school schedules.

 

 

“I do not vote on purpose. I have rationally, calmly, and logically looked at the situation, and decided that there are more entertaining and less destructive methods of wasting my time than voting. I do not avoid the polls because I am lazy, ill-informed, busy, or any of the other myriad of reasons commonly given. I avoid voting on purpose. “

-  representative online opinion